Asperger/Autism. ADD/ADHD. Physical Delayed/ Physical Impaired. Dyslexia/Reading Delayed – Take a few moments to take another look at all of those words there. For some of those parents out there they may mean nothing, but for some they could mean the world. They could be the very definition of what your doctors and specialists use to describe your lovely child. It could be a boy or girl. You could be the type of parent that doesn’t like labels and which not to discuss this issue. You could be the type of parent that researches everything to make sure you understand everything that is going on with your offspring. For most parents that have a child that is disabled it is apparent and making the every day a struggle. For some parents, like me, have a unique struggle in our lives.
Adam
His name is Adam. He is a seven year old boy that likes superheroes and playing video games. He has his biological father’s green eyes, and his dad’s last name. He has the same beautiful blonde hair that has a little spot on top of his head that will stick up if you don’t get it down.
These are the words I want to be used to describe my dear son Adam. He was my first born and the man in my life for some time. Adam does have some emotional and physical problems. What they are exactly we don’t really know. The first doctor I went to go see said he had Asperger’s Disorder, an autism spectrum disorder. The next doctor said he had ADD/ADHD. He has had problems with his feet and legs. He has just gone through two surgeries to put metal implants into his ankle joints. However, if you do not spend a few hours with Adam or see him with his walker that he is using to recover from his recent surgeries you would not know that he has behavior issues.
This is the world we are caught up in, the one of a so-called ‘high functioning disabled child’. My child does not need all the tools that are usually required for those that have all of the classic signs of being ‘disabled’. However, there is something going on with him. I have known this for several years now. I can’t tell you what it is but there is something there. A lot of people want to stare at me in the store when Adam has one of his ‘fits’, but I can’t do anything. I have tried everything. Sometimes the trials and tribulations of a parent in public have nothing to do with their parenting style. As hard as it is for a lot of people to believe there are those kids that have ‘problems’.
Without having the proper label of what is going on in Adam’s head, we can not get the right help. We are stuck in the middle of knowing and not knowing what is going on. It always seems like my pleads as a mother fall on deaf ears. Some doctors have been so mean that they even think that I am projecting my own psychological disorders onto my son. This is just absurd. I don’t want a child that has such difficulties socially, but I do.
I hope by posting my story that others and learn something. For those parents who are parenting a child with little to no direction from the medical community, hold on. Your child is not a label and I understand your pain. In a world where disabilities are accepted and adapted for, those members of society that are considered ‘high-function’ have no place to stand on.
