Are you finding yourself worn out from dealing with your children? Are you finding yourself depressed about certain issues and ready to scream? It is time to develop a plan for action. I have found through the raising of four children that raising children can just happen. The daily stream of activities can just push them through life and they can seem to be doing pretty well until…oops..what behavior is that? I have found that I can be lazy as mom and not notice the effect immediately. However, after a short parental vacation the evidence of my choice to let the stream of daily life train them is experienced by all who come in contact with them.
The best parents have a strategic plan of action. You are one of the up and coming best parents. Let your child’s behavior be the voice that labels you as one of the best. How? Your child needs you to have a strategic plan and that strategic plan is as simple as creating a list of five to eight goals. These goals are to define the behavior that you expect to see your child display. It is not a list of do nots. If it was a list of do nots it would seem as if it never ended. However, a list of 5 to ten goals can encompass all the issues. If you seem to keep coming back to the same behavioral issues then you need to address that issue clearly with a goal. The simpler the goal the easier it is for the child to apply it to their lives.
An example of clear goals could be: Be obedient to parents and adults, Be respectful of other’s property, Treat others with kindness, Work hard, Take care of your body. Once you get five clear goals most everything you instruct them on can go back to those clear goals. Everyday they are to brush their teeth and skipping a day is breaking the goal to take care of your body. The child striking another child has not cooperated with treat others with kindness. Never, ever as a parent should we underestimate the power of our words. Our words of instruction, if given in a manner that is organized and clear will be followed. And in the same way our words of affirmation and praise will be seen in the way our children carry themselves and believe in themselves.
Post the goals in a visible spot and affirm them on accomplishments and read the goals to them daily. They should have the goals memorized. The goals apply to every child in your home no matter what their circumstances. Children struggling with ADD, ADHD or other health issues also need clear goals and the same goals should be expected of them. They need those goals to be reiterated over and over peacefully not in a moment of yelling stress. And of course these goals should be lived by you as a parent as well.
Handicapped children also need to know that they are responsible for their own behavior. They need to know what is expected of them and they will be excellent children because you have trained them rather than letting every day life just develop them. I have been witness to two handicap persons growing up before me. Both had limited vocabulary and both had limited use of their bodies and required the care of others for bathing and at times even eating. One grew up with only one parent, a calm, peaceful woman who cared deeply for him and dedicated all time and resources to him. The other grew up as the youngest in a family with four children and was loved and catered to but was expected to meet certain requirements of caring for himself and others. One grew older and is an angry person picking and choosing who to be kind to and is most often only concerned with himself. The other is known in the facility that he now lives as sunshine, as a wonder boy, as light of the room. Why? They were both handicapped. Both of them have limited speech. Both of them were trained. One was trained by life and the other by clear reinforced expectations. One uses their limited vocabulary to curse and express anger and the other uses his limited vocabulary to express joy.
Training a child really is not complicated it is the simple things, like five to ten clearly stated goals that can transform them into the well developed, loving children that you desire. You will see that your child is happier, more content, getting along with others better and you will hear people comment in a positive manner about their behavior. This plan is void of screaming and yelling and blaming. It is void of accusing them of not listening and being stubborn. It is the basics of training. The foundation of this plan is love and wisdom and the only outcome will be the positive reinforcement of goals that are required for peaceful, healthy living. Try it for two days and you will see the difference. If you don’t give it a try then where will you be as a family in two days, a week, a year? You will likely be in the same place of disobedience and parental vacations. Your child is worth the investment. Your family is a well behaved family just waiting to be revealed.
