Telling your children that you are separating is never simple. Feelings of anger, sadness, and confusion often times create a fear of uncertainty. Fortunately, good communication with your children while parenting through the divorce can ease anxiety and help comfort any worries.
Kids often times believe that they are the reason for the separation. Divorce is not their problem. According to Dr. Martha Erickson Super Nanny expert, the first step that you must do is tell your children that they are not the reason for the separation. Help them understand that nothing they said or did was the cause of the split.
Telling your children that you love them is one of the most imperative things that you could say. They need the security of knowing that two parents love and care about them. By saying it often it will help alleviate feelings of abandonment that most children feel during a separation or divorce. Emphasize how important they are and that no matter what happens your love for them will never change.
Divorce expert attorney, Ed Sherman advises parents to encourage the constructive time that children spend with the other parent. This assurance helps them see that you are excited about them having a loving relationship. Tell them that you are pleased about their relationship with the other parent. Never make children feel as though they are being forced to choose sides. This is psychologically damaging and may create future problems as they begin to get older. Being supportive of their feelings and listening to your kids is an important parenting skill during this difficult time.
Parenting can be challenging and complex when going through a divorce or separation. It requires a commitment of patience, understanding, and tolerance. It is going to take time for kids to adjust to the new situation. Be sure to provide them with the security and love they need during their transition. Listening to what your kids are saying will help you gain an understanding of their feelings, giving you the ability to properly help your children successfully cope with the separation.
Dr. Martha Erickson, Telling Your Children You’re Separating, SuperNanny.com
Ed Sherman, Divorce- How to Protect Your Children, Nolotech.com
